Family Concerns

For lots of parents, organizing your kids to do chores, put things away in proper designated places, be respectful and civil can be a most challenging task. With such frustration, some parents may resort to anger, threats and even name-calling.

Anger might seem to be suitable on occasions, but if a parent falls into a routine pattern of resentment and negativity toward a child’s lack of compliance, it could cause real damage to the child’s self-concept and well being. None of us wants that.

Nothing breeds unwillingness and apathy more than being made to feel accused and inadequate. Think of a time when you were made to feel that way. Did it make you want to improve at all? Of course, it did not.

Create an enthusiastic atmosphere with your children. How do you do that? Get your children excited about rewards they will receive if they clean up their rooms, keep the house tidy and do their chores. Let them know that they are appreciated and how a family is a co-operative unit for the survival of everyone. Bring this across to them in a number of ways. They will feel loved and a valuable member of the family. Teach them to earn their place by being a contributing part of it.

Devise a point system that adds up to an allowance that lets the kids spend their money the way they want to. They love this! This empowers them! If they want that trip to the roller rink or some other new possession that is really important to them, they know getting it will be a direct result of their efforts. This teaches them value for your efforts.

Be encouraging. Do not make them feel poorly if they mess up, but when they do, absolutely, take the reward points away. Let them know there is always next time, and let them know they can do better, but do not sway in your stance. It has to be as real as if they were going to a real job and being paid for their production. The rules agreed to have to be kept, no matter what and they have to know it’s firm but fair. It has to directly affect what they deem to be important to them and in how they are directly affected by it.

Those well-to-do families and their kids have so much – perhaps too much! It’s all there without any effort on their parts, and they don’t have to earn a thing. They just take it all for granted. Make incentives that are particularly important to them and let them learn the lesson that participation equals real reward.

Tasks to earn rewards can change, week by week, and with multiple kids the highest point winner can take the pick of the favorite chores and the lowest point winner gets the ones that are left over. Make it a realistic approach for each child according to age and ability to have their fair chance to win.

Do they have their own reasons and incentive to keep their bedrooms and the play areas clean? Talk it over with them; ask them for instances of how it could be more meaningful for them. Gently guide them to discover for themselves what reasons the clean room, etc. would serve their best needs.

If they want to earn extra points to gain something special or to catch up if behind, make available extra jobs above and beyond the call of duty. This will help them do that, such as taking over one of the parent’s tasks for a time or doing a special project for the home and family.

Bringing up our kids is a really tough job. Even miracles can occur with the right attitude, good communication and good systems! Bring up your child to respect you and to earn their way and you will have a naturally organized household.

For advice on the best ways to go about organizing and de-cluttering a home, check out these articles
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